This image is just one moment.
It doesn’t show my 7 year old losing it because her sister was annoying her and the arguments that then followed. Or me trying to calm the situation and honestly wondering how I will have the patience for this , solo, for another 5 months.
It doesn’t show the mess my girls created because I had just run out of steam, threw my hands up and just let them run wild. Or me having to then tidy the whole house in exchange for those few moments to myself. It doesn’t show my 4 year old throwing a tantrum at bed time because she wanted to take a billion toys with her and I went too far into the argument that there was no way I could back down.
Or me holding back tears because I just wanted to hand the parenting over to someone else just for tonight. Just for a little bit.
It doesn’t show my 7 year old waiting 40 minutes for me to come and say good night to her because I was dealing with the 4 year old, calming her down, wiping away tears and trying to talk her out of going to sleep angry at me because mentally I just didn’t have the strength that night. Not while I am feeling like nothing I do is up to scratch because I am being pulled every which way.
It doesn’t show me sitting on the couch feeling defeated and wondering if I am doing any of it right and it doesn’t show me wandering around the house aimlessly when everything is quite and I am all alone just willing my husband to call me, email me...something! Just wishing that I could talk to the one person who can make me feel better, the one person who can build me up and reassure me that it will all be ok.
But hey, we made it to week 5! Yay us. 4 months and 3 weeks to go one moment, one day at a time.